I got screwed, guys. Screwed sideways, and not in a pleasant way.
See, I bid on this poster on eBay. I was very excited about it, being that nobody seemed particularly interested in it, so I’d get a nice deal on a signed poster by my favorite musician, Juliana Hatfield.
“Signed by the artist,” the listing says. Am I the only one who would take that to mean that it was signed by Juliana Hatfield? Apparently, because when I got it today, it was not signed by Juliana Hatfield — it was signed by Lynn Porterfield, the poster designer. In pencil, no less. What the shit? Who the hell wants “L. Porterfield” written in block letters (it’s not even really a signature!) underneath a poster of Juliana Hatfield?
I’m either really stupid, or the listing was vaguely worded so as to create the impression that it was signed by Juliana Hatfield, so salivating, sex-starved bidders (i.e., me) would run up enormous credit card bills to pay for a seemingly valuable poster that really has no value, unless you happen to be a big fan of people who know how to use Adobe programs.
In summary, I’m frustrated. I’m not sure if I’m irritated with my own stupidity like I normally am, or if I’m just disappointed by the word choice of some eBay seller who wants more money.
The consolations: (1) I’ve been scouring eBay and shitty used record stores for several months, trying to find what little merchandise I can relating to my beloved (not Paige; Juliana); all I’ve found are two t-shirts and the occasional poster that simply has her name, in tiny letters below some headliner, on it. This is the first poster I’ve found that is actually, by gum, for Juliana herself, and I’d be proud to hang it on my wall as soon as I erase the signature (in this case, a pencil signature is a good thing). (2) The price was driven up less than $6 from its original asking price, so if li’l miss eBay thang was shakin’ her lawyer-speak booty trying to get an influx of bids, it really didn’t work out all that well.
Posted by Stan on July 28, 2003 1:52 PM