I recently came up with what I believe is an ingenious idea. Often, I’m wrong about such things, but this time, I think I done good. See, recently I dropped $1000 to fix my car’s air-conditioning system. It’s a lot of money, and as I hemorrhage money like a gunshot victim leaks blood, I think about this a lot. Was it really worth that excessive amount of money just so I can be somewhat cooler while driving? I don’t even like driving, and I don’t like owning a car, so what was the point?
Ever since it was fixed, it’s been causing the car to run rough (this isn’t unusual), and it’s also started this random clicking noise (this is unusual), so I either drive with the click or I go and get it repaired. Either way, I’ll inevitably be raped by either the cosmos (in the sense that my car will break down or explode at the most inopportune time the goddess Fortuna can think of) or a large, greasy mechanic named Vito (not gay).
Meanwhile, I’ve had a battery of medical appointments for a variety of reasons I don’t feel it necessary to dive into at this point (short version: I am fat and can’t see; the two might be related). I’m insured through my dad’s work, because I didn’t make it at Starbucks long enough to swindle a free year of health insurance.
Yet another meanwhile: my dad, like most Americans approaching middle-age, hates his job, his life, his kids (i.e., me; he has no beef with the one who moved 2000 miles away), and so forth. He’s in a rut, and he wants to make one last score. No, he’s not a coke addict or a jewel thief (that I know of); really, he just wants to start some sort of business so he could work from home and actually enjoy the declining years of his life. The problem is, he can’t think of any business anybody would be interested in.
And then it hit me: auto insurance that works like a PPO.
No, hear me out, this actually does make sense. For those who aren’t in the know, a health insurance PPO basically has a big, fat book full of medical professionals in your general area. If you choose a doctor on this list, you only have to pay a minimal, per-visit co-pay and the insurance covers the rest. For most people, this works just a tad better than paying the entire cost out of pocket.
Wouldn’t it make sense, what with so many people complaining about anal bleeding shortly after paying off the guy at the local auto shop, to work a similar scheme with auto insurance? I’m not sure if any companies do anything like this — as far as I know, they don’t — so most car owners, since they are in most cases required to have auto insurance, are basically dumping money into a system they never really use.
Sure, it’s nice to know it’s there if you need it, but why pay $1200 a year (that’s what I pay, and boy am I happy about it!) for theoretical coverage? I mean, if you do get into an accident at some point, your insurance premium inevitably goes up anyway. The whole idea that you’re paying money into a system that will eventually be used to cover the costs of future accidents is pretty much a load of horseshit. Why should people pay that?
Answer: they shouldn’t. But insurance is still required by law, wouldn’t it be nice to offer consumers an insurance program that is actually useful? Like, for example, a company that, in exchange for your horrifically high annual payment, gives you a list of mechanics in the area. From there, if you need any repairs or, say, an oil change, or something like that, it’s mostly covered on your insurance, with a sliding — but still minimal — co-pay that is based on the amount of the services rendered.
Of course, if you still had an accident, the insurance would still cover it, the premiums would still go up, but at least, in the interim, you’re actually getting something for your money.
Maybe it’s crazy. I’m most likely talking out my ass, because I don’t know anything about the insurance business, and the only thing I know about cars is that rearview mirrors are pretty easy to adhere onto a windshield and that ABS brakes cause funny smells to shoot out of the air vents. Still, it seems like a good, sound, logical idea to me. If I were into business investing, I’d back somebody who had this idea.
Of course, this is probably exactly why I’m going to an art school.
Posted by Stan on July 13, 2003 8:31 PM