Friday Five/Albums of the Week Archives
April 29, 2005
Feast Forty-Five: Stan
Appetizer
Which keys do you have on your key chain?
Car ignition, car locks, bike lock, apartment key, house key. I’m not sure if it counts, but I have one of those auto-dealies for my car that, at the push of a button (several times in a row because it works like shit), will lock and unlock the doors or pop the trunk. Technology!
Soup
What is the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
I’m not the most spontaneous person in the world, so this is kind of slim pickin’s, but I guess this qualifies:
In August of 2002, I had two tickets to see Juliana Hatfield at the Double Door, and I was thrilled beyond belief. Me and The Ex would go see the show, have a good time, and naughtiness would ensue. When I told The Ex about it, she said, “There’s no way we’ll get in. They card like maniacs, and I can’t even flirt my way in.” You have to bear in mind here that The Ex was not the most outgoing person in the world (ironically, she turned to me to be the outgoing one — ha!), but she was very good-looking, which is all that really matters in a bar-bouncer scenario.
Neither of us were 21 (I was only a few months away…), but I insisted that we go down there anyway. I speak the bouncers’ language, which is to say, I had several fresh $20 bills from the ATM. So we wandered down there on the train, and we got off and waltzed up toward the Double Door. A large, African-American fellow who I always will believe was nicknamed “Tiny” glared at us and muttered, “ID?” I flashed my ID, with its red “UNDER 21” tag. He looked up at me like I just fell off the short bus and said without irony, “You ain’t come in here.”
“Let’s go,” The Ex groaned. She thought she could make it as a music manager and didn’t want the humiliation of being thrown out of the same venue multiple times.
I suavely slid a $20 into the bouncer’s paw. He stood there, all stoic and terrifying, brow furrowing down at us, not saying a word.
“Uhh…” I began, in an effort to retrieve my lost $20.
“You gonna git now,” he mumbled. He should’ve known that wouldn’t stop me — until The Ex grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the entrance, back toward the train station, berating me with a wide variety of derogatory statements about my ethnic heritage.
On the way home, I talked idly about going out to see her in Iowa City, where Juliana was playing the following evening. We could stay with Lucy, with whom I wasn’t really speaking at the time, and maybe visit The Ex’s parents in Bettendorf on the way home. This was roundly rejected as the stupidest idea I had ever conceived. We’re going to travel 250 miles to the doorstep of a girl I hadn’t spoken to in three months, take advantage of whatever kindness she’d force herself to muster so we could have a free place to crash, and then make a bleary-eyed, grungy stop to meet The Ex’s parents for my very first time?
So I said, “Fuck it, you’re right.” That was my mantra during the bulk of our relationship. A note to the female readers of this blog: if you let me have my way with you, I’ll do your bidding for eternity.
The next day, Lucy IM-ed me about 90 times in a row. She didn’t really get the whole “silent treatment” thing, so she’d just send barrages of instant messages, hoping I’d eventually answer. Finally, that day, I did.
“Are you trying to ignore me?” she asked.
“Do you know where the Green Room is?” I asked.
“It’s right down the street from my house,” she said.
“Do you want to go to a concert with me tonight?” I asked.
This is the impulsive part, where I — slightly, in the back of my mind, upset with The Ex — drive 250 miles to go to a concert and reunite with my best friend on a whim. Yeah, it might not sound like much, but for me…it’s pretty bold.
So yeah, I drove out there, was disappointed by the squalorific conditions in which she lived (to such a degree I ended up driving straight home through the blackness of Iowa and Illinois at 3AM because I couldn’t stay a whole night there) and was disappointed by the various horrible life choices she had been making (these horrible life choices were why I stopped talking to her to begin with). The only good thing to come of it was when I saw Kathryn Musilek for the first time, and she changed my life forever. So all’s well that ends well.
Salad
Who is the best cook in your family?
My mom would kill me, but I have to grudgingly admit that my sister is a pretty fantastic cook.
Main Course
If you were to write a “how-to” book, what would the title be?
How to Be a Hollywood Hack
Dessert
Name a recent fad you’ve tried.
Back when I thought I was morbidly obese, I was very close to trying the Atkins diet. I did the research, read the book, shit my pants in horror at what you have to go through to accomplish your weight-loss goals, and actually did something Dr. Atkins explicitly states in the book that nobody seems to actually do: I went and talked to my doctor about it. My doctor, when he stopped laughing, noted that I’m only about 20 pounds overweight, and maybe I should try eating less junk food and exercising once in awhile.
And what do you know? That archaic system works just as well.
from friday’s feast
Posted by Stan on April 29, 2005 12:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
February 13, 2004
Weekly Music
I’m way too fucking lazy to discuss five albums I’m listening to, although I have gotten some new shit in the last couple of weeks that I’m sure I’ll blog about at some point. As a consolation prize, I’ve decided to ape what I assume is some sort of new LiveJournal fad. I stole this directly from Jonathan Marko, and I guess etiquette dictates that I need to type up the rules, too.
Step 1: Open your iTunes or other lesser MP3 player.
Step 2: Put all of your music on random.
Step 3: Write down the first ten songs it plays, no matter how embarrassing.
(Yay for copy-paste.)
So, here they are:
1. “At Least the Pain is Real” (Neva Dinova, Neva Dinova, 2002)
2. “I Got No Idols (Piano Version)” (Juliana Hatfield, For the Birds EP, 1993)
3. “Groove Stars in the Nighttime” (Sidonie, Sidonie, 2001)
4. “Sneaking Around” (Juliana Hatfield, Bed, 1998)
5. “Tamara” (Juliana Hatfield, Forever Baby EP, 1992)
6. “Vibe On” (Dannii Minogue, Neon Nights, 2003)
7. “Very Funny” (Magnetic Fields, 69 Love Songs Disc 2, 1999)
8. “Hide” (Matthew Sweet, In Reverse, 1999)
9. “(Crazy For You But) Not That Crazy” (Magnetic Fields, 69 Love Songs Disc 2, 1999)
10. “Julius Fastbody” (Blake Babies, Nicely, Nicely, 1987)
It backs up my theory that “shuffle” doesn’t shuffle nearly enough. Seriously, out of 584 songs, two of the first 10 are from not only the same three-CD compilation, but the same disc of the compilation. That just isn’t right.
Posted by Stan on February 13, 2004 12:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
January 30, 2004
Five Albums of the Week (4)
Once again, I’ve stolen the concept from Remy, but I’ve tailored it to my obsessive-compulsive tendencies by expanding it to full albums instead of just songs.
Symphony of Enchanted Lands by Rhapsody (1999, LMP Records)
I watch WGN News in the morning before I go to work and/or school. On Friday, they had this unbelievably bad parody of German glam metal. It could have been funny, but the problem was that they were comedians who thought, “Look at how hilarious these German metal guys are. Let’s make fun of them.” Consequently, it stops being funny and turns sad.
The reason why, for example, This is Spinal Tap works so well is that the band, made up of comedians, find the humor in the pretension of these acts. Certain heavy metal bands take themselves so seriously, while being so completely ridiculous, that they end up becoming self-parody in their own right. And that’s what Rhapsody is.
I was told to download this album from somebody awhile back, and I just got around to listening to it a few weeks ago. It’s this weird mix of speed-metal, bad medieval minstrel music, and Dungeons and Dragons. I am not joking about this. The album is unbelievably funny, especially the brief spoken-word segments spoken by somebody with both a cold and a lisp, but it’s really a shame. The musicianship is surprisingly, almost disturbingly, good. It’s just the musical content, the lyrical content, and the whole overall concept that is laughably bad.
I played a couple tracks of Sissy Bar (specifically, their cover of “Gin and Juice” that makes the song good, and their ode to Jackie Collins) for my parents, and they were unimpressed. Then, I played this, and they were like, “Holy shit, this is the best album you’ve brought home in months.” I guess they don’t like the Cooler Kids that much. Also, they’re old fogies; of course they love stuff like that. It’s their world.
Liz Phair by Liz Phair (2003, Capitol Records)
When I started listening to terrible indie rock, The Ex (not at the time) told me that I wasn’t really a man if I hadn’t heard Liz Phair’s Exile in Guyville. Then again, she calls My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless the most influential album of all time, so maybe she’s just crazy*.
At any rate, I was not particularly impressed with the album. I liked some of it, but I didn’t get excited about it like I did, for some reason, with Juvenalia, the EP everybody else on the planet hated. So I don’t really follow around Liz Phair like I do with certain other female vocalists out there.
I started reading reviews of her new album, though, that piqued my interest. She teamed up with the frightening people who turned Michelle Branch’s demos into a weird hybrid of fem-pop and indie-rock and sold out thoroughly and completely. I got it in my head that I would love this new Liz Phair album because I like Michelle Branch quite a bit, but her lyrics are unbelievably stupid and painfully juvenile. So, since Liz Phair is about 17 years older and generally writes better songs anyway, I thought this would be a good pick.
And I was right, pretty much. I like Liz Phair, all glossed up and basically denying her indie roots, much more than I liked the unnecessary, squeaky aggression of Exile in Guyville.
But maybe that’s just me.
The Execution of All Things by Rilo Kiley (2002, Saddle Creek Records)
This is probably my favorite album of all time. Even better than the Blake Babies’ Sunburn. Although, funnily enough, I think Rilo Kiley is a lot better live than they are in the studio. I’ve heard Blake Sennett take a bit of flak because he’s not much of a singer (especially compared to Jenny Lewis), but I thought the recording doesn’t do him justice. He sounded great live. Of course, I thought Jenny sounded better live, too, so who knows?
One Day Under the Sun, One Night Beneath the Moonlight by johnl (2003, independent)
My good pal johnl uploaded his album to the server, and I liked it quite a bit, so he sent me an actual physical copy of the CD. I was sort of dubious at first, thinking maybe he was wasting his time (and money; it seems like it’d be expensive to ship a CD from Ireland to Chicago) since I already had the uploaded copy, but I’m glad he did. For anybody who believes that MP3s will ever capture the breadth of a CD (or, even better, an LP), allow me to point to this as an example. I almost dare to call it “faboo,” but I’d like to maintain some hetero street cred.
Disc One by Barenaked Ladies (2001, Warner Brothers Records)
Oddly, I wrote much of this several weeks ago, but never got around to finish it up and posting it until now (although, because I’m too lazy to find something new, I’m still listening to the same CDs, except for this one). So, I was listening to this quite a bit with Lucy after she got her wisdom teeth out. It sort of blew my mind at first, because some of their more terrible work was mingling with some of their best songs, and I thought she just had some poorly concocted mix CD of tracks she’d gotten off of gnutella.
Turns out, it’s an actual greatest hits CD. And, yes, I suppose all of the songs on it are their greatest hits; it just happens that a lot of their greatest hits are actually pretty bad songs, when compared to the rest of the BNL catalog. At least, that’s the way I felt about it.
*Not saying it’s a bad album; I like it quite a bit and always listen to it when I’m depressed and feel like my life is going nowhere, so I have it on quite often. I just don’t see how it was particularly influential. I’ve heard a lot of people outright rip it off, but I haven’t heard much MBV influence in indie rock in general.
Posted by Stan on January 30, 2004 2:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
January 10, 2004
Five Albums of the Week (3)
It’s been over a month since the last time I did this, but the rules are still the same, and it’s still stolen from Remy and amended to include albums instead of songs. So, here we go…
Only Everything by Juliana Hatfield (1995, Atlantic Records)
I managed to track down a near-mint copy of the German-pressed European LP release of this album and Hey Babe, and it only cost £15 including shipping. I was pleased with the purchase. I listened to the CD (since my Discman is a little less cumbersome in the car than my turntable) while I warmed up my car and listened to Lucy relate a long and pointless story about her boyfriend that, in the words of a mutual friend of ours, “proved her even more immature than he is.”
Here’s a paraphrased version of that story: her boyfriend is a spaz who apparently overreacted because he, contrary to the popular myths reported in sorority houses, didn’t want her parading around “the bars” dressed like a slut. He also doesn’t want her smoking or drinking (much). He’s just too demanding, and yet she believes she’s in love with him, so she won’t break up with him. And he won’t break up with her; instead, he just ignores her for days and then, when she calls him, hangs up or asks “why the fuck” she’s calling.
So, she decided to get revenge by parading around “the bars” dressed like a slut, smoking and drinking. This tactic was not nearly as effective as she thought it would be. You’ll never believe this, but it actually made him angrier than he was. However, it apparently serves him right for being “the jealous type.” Some other stuff happened, but I don’t recall what because I think I stopped paying attention, and then suddenly she stormed into his apartment and screamed at him for 30 minutes.
I’m not sure why he deserved this — it’s possible something interesting happened when I zoned out, but I doubt it — but she was very proud of her ability to weave an intricate tapestry of profanities rivaled only by the most ornate 16th-century Persian rugs. She wouldn’t really repeat any of these clever strings of obscenities, possibly because she knew that (m)any of the swear-drenched tirades she has witnessed from me over the course of our friendship would make hers looking like a shit-stained ferret in comparison.
He did a few things that actually were pretty rotten. I don’t remember, but not from not paying attention; I’ve just forgotten (this is what I get for not blogging in-the-moment anymore). I kinda wish I did remember them, because I remember thinking at the time, “And you didn’t just dump him because…?” And the mutual friend I quoted above thought basically the same thing.
I guess everything’s sorted out now. Her outburst officially whipped him, and she says he’s pretty submissive now, although she objected to my use of the term “whipped.” “He’s not whipped,” she insisted, “he just understands my perspective now.” I.e., he’s whipped.
Statutory Grape by Sissy Bar (1996, Sugar Fix Recordings)
This album has a great cover of the otherwise unmemorable Snoop Dogg song “Gin and Juice.” It also boasts the funniest song of all time, “Jackie,” a song about the influence of Jackie Collins on American lives.
Songs For Peeps by Sissy Bar (1999, Mootron Records)
This album almost doesn’t even exist, it’s so obscure, but it’s pretty damn good. It’s not Statutory Grape, but it’s quite a fine sophomore effort. I just wish Sissy Bar hadn’t disappeared off the face of the earth four years before I learned of their existence. Anybody who can track down copies of either this or Statutory Grape (both appear intermittently on half.com, though I found great deals through Amazon’s Marketplace merchants.
Or you could just talk to me, since I ripped the album and have the MP3s collecting digital dust on my hard drive currently, just waiting to saturate the market of idle losers looking for some pseudo-countrified lo-fi fem-pop that sound like the mangled lovechild of Rilo Kiley and Stereolab. And that’s as close as I’ll allow my blog to be soiled with the tangy smarm of almost-music criticism.
Shudder.
Let Go by Nada Surf (2002, Barsuk Records)
I first heard about Nada Surf a long, long, long, long time ago. Long ago, in fact, that I remember being disappointed that one of my favorite Guitar World columnists was leaving to pursue a music career, instead of just writing about how he wished he had one. So, since I was actively reading Guitar World, I’d put it around seventh or eighth grade.
I bought their first album, but once “Popular” hit the air-waves and became a controversial hit (thanks to its, ahem, unusual video), I sort of dismissed them as a Weezer clone and completely forgot about them.
Then, my pal Adam Green, said, “OMG STAN U MUST LISSEN!#!#@!” at which point I told him he was thrwoing his life away. Still, I downloaded the album and, two months later, I listened to it.
And, holy shit, I was pretty blown away. At first, I couldn’t figure out what the fuck it was. I didn’t recognize the singing, the guitar playing, or any of the music at all, and the ID3 tags were sort of b0rked, to use the technical term, so I had to track it down by Googling random song lyrics until I came up with a hit I recognized.
Neon Nights by Dannii Minogue (2003, Ultra Records)
Yes, not only am I listening to this album — I paid actual money for it. And I know nobody will ever believe this, but it was worth the money. In fact, in conjunction with The Cooler Kids’ epic Punk Débutante, Michelle Branch’s Hotel Paper, and Liz Phair’s recent self-titled record, a disturbing, empowered, sexually aggressive fem-pop revolution has been spurred in my music taste.
And, really, the thing that started it all was Dannii’s “Vibe On.”
Plug it in gimme my vibe on, good vibrations, that’s what gets my ride on, gotta have vibrations,
Jump on top it, sit right on it, plug it in gimme my vibe on, gotta have vibrations.
I’m not kidding — it can’t possibly get any better than that. Well, except for the part where she says “vibraholic.” And the part where she makes reference to putting in “XXX batteries.”
Posted by Stan on January 10, 2004 8:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
November 28, 2003
Five Albums of the Week (2)
Stolen from Remy; amended to include albums instead of songs.
B-Sides by Juliana Hatfield (1990-1997, various labels)
For the first time in several months, I burned an actual audio CD. It’s a particular CD I’ve been meaning to burn for awhile, and it includes all the Juliana Hatfield b-sides I have, along with the two non-single EPs that she’s released (Please Do Not Disturb and Rosy Jack World with the Blake Babies). I tried to work in the non-album tracks from Gold Stars, but the CD got pretty cramped pretty fast, so I only managed to fit one. Here’s the track listing:
- Sellout
- Trying Not to Think About It
- As if Your Life Depended on It
- Give Me Some of That
- Get Off
- The Edge of Nowhere
- Tamara
- Raisans
- Here Comes the Pain
- Rider
- Feed Me
- Where Would I be Without You?
- Yardsailing
- Girl in Blue Volvo Disowns Self
- Hello My Name is Baby
- I Got No Idols (piano version)
- Batwing
- Temptation Eyes
- Downtime
- Take Me
- Severed Lips
- Nirvana (acoustic version)
- Table For One
So, yeah, there’s that.
Pink Moons Yellow Hearts by Dressy Bessy (1999, Kindercore Records)
I was first turned on to Dressy Bessy by my ol’ mate Ian, who is currently spending the majority of his time getting pissed, shagging, and enjoying tea, crumpets, biscuits, kippers, and so on. I imagine he still reads the ol’ blog, but I never really asked him. I’d link to the blog he was supposed to start, but he never did, so never mind that.
Needless to say, this is quite a good album. Not as good as Sound Go Round, but it’s Dressy Bessy, so it’s pretty fucking good.
Smeared by Sloan (1992, Universal Records)
This is another Ian pick. It’s funny, because right after he recommended all this fucking great music, my sister owed me $30 for a gift we went dutch on, so I told her she could get me some CDs with her Borders discount and we’d call it even. This was one of them, Pink Hearts Yellow Moons was one of them, and the next album pick was the third. I gave her this list in May, and I got the CDs last week.
In summary, my sister is a chump.
The Three EPs by the Beta Band (1999, EMI Records)
The first time I listened to this CD, I loved it. Now that I actually own it, I don’t like it so much. I’m sorta disappointed, because had I thought my sister would actually come through with the CDs, I would have made a switch at the last minute.
Ein deutsches Requiem by Johannes Brahms, as performed by the Montiverdi Choir and the Orchestre Révolutionnaire et Romantique, under the direction of John Eliot Gardiner (1991, Philips Records)
Remember the assignment I did last week in which I used some songs from Bed to create a short script concept about a woman with borderline-personality disorder who kills herself? Well, I ended up going with that subject for my final project, except it’s drastically different. Basically, the only things that remained the same are these:
(1) There is a woman in it
(2) Somebody dies
The woman has the same character name, and she has the same general demeanor, only instead of being depressed and sorta crazy, now she’s really angry and sorta crazy. She doesn’t have borderline — she’s just intensely angry and antisocial. In summary, she’s me as a woman. Sigh. I think I’m in love.
In this version of the script, she’s not having an affair, she doesn’t go off her meds, and she doesn’t kill herself. Instead, her mother dies, and it’s all about her and her brother dealing with the death. It’s much less histrionic and much more depressing. It’s also very tough for me to write, because I don’t enjoy dredging up, you know, human emotions. They make my writing, you know, good.
I’ve been listening to the Brahms requiem to get in touch with all the fun death feelings I keep buried as deep as they will possibly go. I initially thought it was working pretty well, but I’ve reached a point where I think this script is subtle to the point where nothing remotely interesting happens. So, basically, it’s like everything else I write.
Posted by Stan on November 28, 2003 9:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
November 22, 2003
Five Albums of the Week
I stole this idea, with what I assume is permission (“And join in if you want,” he says), from Remy (shout-out!). Like me, he’s tired of the Friday Five, so he decided he’d list five songs he’s been listening to over the course of the week.
I’ve decided to up the ante and write about five albums I’ve been listening to over the course of the week. I’m way more anal-retentive than Remy, or anyone else on the planet, so I have a hard time listening to individual songs. I have to listen to the whole album as a cohesive whole, even if the whole album sucks except for one song.
In addition to that, I’m going to summarize my week using anecdotes that pertain to the particular albums.
Read on for my exciting top-five albums of the week…
Bed by Juliana Hatfield (1998, Zoë Records)
For my adaptation class, we had an assignment wherein we were to find a poem, a song, or a piece of artwork that inspired a story in our addled brains. I chose the lyrics for two of the songs on this album (“Swan Song” and “Sneaking Around”) and crafted a story around them. The story is about a woman with borderline-personality disorder. Frustrated by her lover’s inability to commit (he’s married to somebody else), she decides to go to his house and kill herself. It ends on an “up” note, with the man’s wife divorcing him.
When I got my character bio and “six questions” (the who, what, where, when, how, and why for the story) back on Wednesday, my professor snickered at me. She said, “Heh heh, Juliana Hatfield.” I thought I was going to cry and wondered if I should’ve gone with something classier, like T.S. Eliot or the first movement of Beethoven’s third symphony.
I also decided that my professor hates me, although upon further introspection, I realized I actually dislike her inexplicably, so I wish she’d hate me so my dislike can seem justified.
Happy Songs for Happy People by Mogwai (2003, Matador Records)
There’s a long curve on Route 72, as it winds around O’Hare Airport. I like to take it at face-meltingly rapid speeds, although I oftentimes have drivers who don’t cooperate and take it at 30 (the posted speed limit is 45, and a yellow sign suggests we take the curve at 40). A song on this album, “Killing All the Flies,” generally times up perfectly with this curve when I’m on my way home. It builds to an obnoxiously loud, distorted section that, when all is well in the universe, starts just as I reach that curve.
I think that song was also used in the jeans commercial with the people and the buffalo in the street, but it’s been a long time since I’ve seen that commercial, so I’m not positive it’s the same song.
It Means Everything by Save Ferris (1997, Starpool Records)
Lucy made me listen to Save Ferris at first. Most of the stuff she listens to is absolute shit. She vacillates between really bad wannabe-punk, really bad ska, and top-40 shit. Save Ferris, which is an amusing combination of all three of those elements, is the first (and, to date, only) band Lucy has ever played for me that I’ve liked. And I like them a lot, even though when I listened to this album four times this week, I got depressed every single time because I miss Lucy and she hadn’t called me in about two weeks.
I started to get worried about her because she wasn’t returning any of my calls, and knowing how much she loves to talk, something had to be wrong. In addition, she had told me she had gotten very depressed last year around this time. So I talked to Jeff (shout-out!) last night, and he said she seemed to have disappeared. This did not make me feel better.
I thought I’d call her one more time, and if I got her VoiceMail, I’d tell her I was concerned, et cetera, and ask her to call me back. If she didn’t call by Sunday, I’d call her parents and see if they knew what was going on.
Expecting the worst, I placed the call, and to my surprise, she picked up on the second ring and the first words out of her mouth were, “I’m on my way home.”
“Um,” I said, relieved.
“I just left, so I won’t be home until around 9:30,” she said.
She said more stuff, but I was so elated that she wasn’t, for example, dead that I decided to stop paying attention to what she was saying.
After a long pause, “…Stan?”
“Oh, sorry,” I said, “I just blanked out for a second.”
“Yeah, I’m gonna hang up now,” she said, irritated.
“Okay,” I said.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Click.
So, now I can listen to Save Ferris and be merry!
The Execution of All Things by Rilo Kiley (2002, Saddle Creek Records)
I’ve always thought it was interesting how music always brings back chunks of my life that I think I’ve long forgotten. For example, the Foo Fighters album The Colour and the Shape reminds me of one summer in high school, when both the album and Turok for the Nintendo 64had just come out. I borrowed the game from Jeff and played it obsessively, with the sound down, while listening to that album.
And the song “In Bloom” by Nirvana reminds me of fifth-grade, when I asked out this girl I really liked and got my first thrilling taste of rejection. I happened to be listening to that song on my sister’s oversized, late-’80s Walkman when the girl approached me to give me the disheartening news. Ironically, it turned out this girl actually liked me, too, and quite a bit. For awhile, anyway.
It turned out her parents had forbidden her to date, which was the only reason she wouldn’t go out with me, despite my fervent effort (accompanied by all sorts of “ultimate acts of love”). By the time we reached high school, both of us had moved on. Also, she wouldn’t have anything to do with me because I was much lumpier and had Axl Rose hair.
Now, The Execution of All Things reminds me of this last summer, which was equal parts fun and irritation. It makes me feel all ambivalent and want to talk to Gina on the phone.
Punk Débutante by The Cooler Kids (2003, DreamWorks Records)
I can’t explain why I love this album so much. I just do.
I’ve taken to listening to parts of the album immediately preceding my fiction writing class. It puts me in an unbelievably good mood that lasts for most of the four hours.
Fortunately, last Wednesday, I didn’t have to worry because literally three people of our small-to-begin-with class showed up. The rest either claimed to be sick or were MIA. One was working on a play. So, our prof decided to do individual conferences instead of having a standard class session.
Fiction conferences are stranger, longer, and more irritating than other conferences. The way it works is, you start out with general chit-chat, questions about the class or the department, page-count and class progress comments. After that’s out of the way, you spend the bulk of the conference reading your own work. You do this odd thing where you bracket stuff in the story you think “works,” and you leave out all the stuff that doesn’t. Then, you read it aloud and analyze why you think it works. Then, the professor re-brackets what she thinks is working.
Essentially, it boils down to the age-old bad-screenwriter-turned-worse-fiction-writer problem: not enough description or sense of place. She loves my style and humor, but in her words, I need to “slow down.” I shove past the details to get to the story and the dialogue. That’s what screenwriters are taught to do, and I have veered away from fiction over the past year, so during this class I’ve really just been diving back into it.
She pointed out the dates of the three stories she had me read. The worst one was the oldest, and the best one was the newest. She admired that progress and hoped I’d keep it up. She also said she really enjoyed the beginning of my shitty parody, and she told me to pay attention to what I’m doing in the parody. She made me realize the entire point of the parody: by copying the full structure of somebody else’s story, we can teach ourselves to be better writers. This parody has all the details I leave out, and it plays with point-of-view a lot more than I normally would.
So, after half a semester of bitching about this class and how the parody is worthless, I’ve finally figured it out. Funnily enough, I ran into my fiction 1 professor that morning, and we talked about how the parodies help, but you never realize it until long after you’ve finished it.
Posted by Stan on November 22, 2003 10:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
November 9, 2003
Friday Five…on Sunday?
Friday Five (special thanks to Rip for reminding me)
- What food do you like that most people hate?
White cheddar Cheez-Its. Seriously, I don’t even know why they still exist. I am the only person on the planet who enjoys them. And they make me ill, too, but I love them (and eat them) anyway. - What food do you hate that most people love?
Shitty pizza. - What famous person, whom many people may find attractive, is most unappealing to you?
I’m not sure anybody actually finds her attractive, or if they’re just faking it, but Julia Roberts is pretty hideous. - What famous person, whom many people may find unappealing, do you find attractive?
Jane Kaczmarek. Yeah, I know. - What popular trend baffles you?
A recent trend among female hairstyles that dictates they must gel their hair so it sticks out all odd and spiky-like. It looks vaguely like bedhead, but more like the spooge hair-gel scene in There’s Something About Mary. I have no idea why so many women have adopted this hairstyle, since the only person it’s ever looked good on is Alyson Hannigan.
Posted by Stan on November 9, 2003 3:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
October 31, 2003
Friday Five (24)
- What was your first Halloween costume?
I vaguely remember being dressed, against my will, as a clown when I was four years old. I hated the make-up. - What was your best costume and why?
Honestly, I have very vague memories of Halloween. I didn’t really care about costumes; I just liked candy. - Did you ever play a trick on someone who didn’t give you a treat?
Nah. We contemplated playing a trick on some guy who gave us notepads once, but we were lazy. - Do you have any Halloween traditions? (ie: Family pumpkin carving, special dinner before trick or treating, etc.)
No. - Share your favorite scary story…real or legend!
Oh, shut up.
Posted by Stan on October 31, 2003 5:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
October 17, 2003
Friday Five (23)
This week’s questions suck balls.
Posted by Stan on October 17, 2003 2:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
October 11, 2003
Friday Five…on Saturday (2)
- Do you watch sports? If so, which ones?
Baseball and football, and none of that college shit — just MLB and NFL for me, thank you very much. - What/who are your favorite sports teams and/or favorite athletes?
CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBS. Also, the Bears.Personally, my favorite athlete is Kordell Stewart. His ability to throw a ball onto an enormous, empty patch of grass — or, even better, a patch of grass currently occupied by several members of the opposing team — has put him next to Cade McNown in the Bears quarterback club.
- Are there any sports you hate?
Tennis. I mean, seriously, what the fuck is going on? - Have you ever been to a sports event?
Uh…yeah. That’s kind of a shitty question. But, yeah, I’ve been to Cubs games, I’ve been to Bears games, I’ve been to Bulls games (back when they were good, even), I went to a Blackhawks game once even though I’m not a hockey fan, I went to a Wolves game once because I enjoy blood, and I went to a Sox game because I’m an idiot. - Do/did you play any sports (in school or other)? How long did you play?
Heh…not really. I played tee-ball when I was a little tyke, and then when I got older I played baseball…for about a month. Then I broke my arm, and since I hated playing sports (like watching, hate playing), I pretty much just quit and never looked back. And now I’m a fat tub of shit. How ironic. Or not.Actually, I did used to play basketball a lot in elementary school, during recess. I was never good, but I was always bigger (not fatter, yet) than the other guys, so my general strategy was to scream at people and shove them around so my team got the ball. I was basketball’s first defensive linebacker.
Posted by Stan on October 11, 2003 10:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
October 3, 2003
Friday Five (22)
- What vehicle do you drive?
Chrysler Concorde. - How long have you had it?
A little more than three years. - What is the coolest feature on your vehicle?
It goes places (big step up from my last car). - What is the most annoying thing about your vehicle?
Constantly having to dump money into it (not just the occasional repair — I’m including oil changes and gasoline, as well). - If money were no object, what vehicle would you be driving right now?
I really, really, really, really hate driving, so I really don’t give a shit what I drive, as long as it’s functional (in the sense of getting from point A to point B without incident).
Posted by Stan on October 3, 2003 2:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
September 19, 2003
Friday Five (21)
- Who is your favorite singer/musician? Why?
Juliana Hatfield. In the immortal words of vende††a, “This Juliana Hatfield music makes me want to paint the face of my best friend, braid her hair and gossip about the cute boys in town, no wonder stan loves it.” Makes sense to me. - What one singer/musician can you not stand? Why?
So many to choose from…so many reasons for hate… - If your favorite singer wasn’t in the music business, do you think you would still like him/her as a person?
Yes, she’s incredibly pleasant to be around. That’s right. I met her. We talked for half an hour. - Have you been to any concerts? If yes, who put on the best show?
I’d say the Juliana show I went to last year was the least unpleasant, which is probably because I like her best. - What are your thoughts on downloading free music online vs. purchasing albums? Do you feel the RIAA is right in its pursuit to stop people from dowloading free music?
The RIAA’s alienating music fans, definitely. A few years ago, the big defense for pro-Napster users was that they only downloaded to sample music. If the music was good, they’d go and buy the album. That was and is still the way I do things, but I’ve become the minority. The RIAA’s horrible PR nightmare of a fight to prevent the horrible piracy of music has ruined them moreso than if they had just ignored Napster and the other peer-to-peer programs.
Posted by Stan on September 19, 2003 8:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
September 12, 2003
Friday Five (20)
- Is the name you have now the same name that’s on your birth certificate? If not, what’s changed?
Yes. - If you could change your name (first, middle and/or last), what would it be?
I wouldn’t change my name. - Why were you named what you were? (Is there a story behind it? Who specifically was responsible for naming you?)
They had to call me something. I don’t recall there being any sort of story about it. - Are there any names you really hate or love? What are they and why?
Honestly, I don’t put a whole lot of stock in names. Names are names; unless you’re writing a book and are one of those irritating authors who names characters becaue it means something very deep and interesting about the character, our names don’t mean shit (to steal from Quentin Tarantino). - Is the analysis of your name at kabalarians.com accurate? How or how isn’t it?
I think it’s overwhelmingly accurate, but a cursory investigation of the site reveals that they have about six different name profiles that they seem to almost randomly assign to the names. This leads me to think that, while it may seem accurate for me, that’s pretty much a fluke.
Posted by Stan on September 12, 2003 9:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
September 5, 2003
Friday Five (19)
- What housekeeping chore(s) do you hate doing the most?
Taking out the garbage. - Are there any that you like or don’t mind doing?
Not that I like. According to my pal Gina, I’m a neat-freak who isn’t aware of it. I constantly refer to my bedroom/car as “a mess,” and she tells me that both are spotless. Either she’s crazy, or I am. I vote I am. - Do you have a routine throughout the week or just clean as it’s needed?
As it’s needed. - Do you have any odd cleaning/housekeeping quirks or rules?
I dust incessantly. That’s the closest thing to a routine that I have. - What was the last thing you cleaned?
The windshield on my car. It still looks disgusting, but hey, I tried.
Posted by Stan on September 5, 2003 12:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
August 29, 2003
Friday Five (18)
- Are you going to school this year?
Yes. - If yes, where are you going (high school, college, etc.)? If no, when did you graduate?
Columbia College, in Chicago’s rustic and gentrified South Loop. - What are/were your favorite school subjects?
English, and I was a big choirboy. - What are/were your least favorite school subjects?
Anything involving math or science. Not specifically because I disliked those subjects (though I did), but because we had some painful, pitiful teachers. At least in the remedial sections. - Have you ever had a favorite teacher? Why was he/she a favorite?
I’m not sure I have any specific favorite, but I’ve had a lot of teachers in high school and college who have inspired me a great deal.
Posted by Stan on August 29, 2003 11:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
August 22, 2003
Friday Five (17)
- When was the last time you laughed?
Yesterday was the last time I had a big laugh. Gina made a funny. It’s a private joke, though, so there’s no purpose in relaying it here. - Who was the last person you had an argument with?
My mother. Ugh. - Who was the last person you emailed?
My sister. - When was the last time you bathed?
Yesterday morning. - What was the last thing you ate?
Rice Krispies.
Otherwise, I’m easily amused, so I laugh — out loud — constantly while I watch television.
Posted by Stan on August 22, 2003 7:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
August 15, 2003
Friday Five (16)
- How much time do you spend online each day?
Too much. On a day when I’m pretty busy, I’ll still manage to squeeze in at least three hours or so. Not all at once, necessarily, but I’ll get it in there. On a not-so-busy day, it’d probably be double that, if not more. I desperately need a life.. - What is your browser homepage set to?
about:blank (w00t!). - Do you use any instant messaging programs? If so, which one(s)?
I use AOL’s Instant Messenger. Every once in a blue moon, I’ll use MSN Messenger, though I hate it with a furious passion.. - Where was your first webpage located?
http://members.aol.com/lionhead/. - How long have you had your current website?
It’s been awhile. Since February, I’d say, but I’m too lazy to double-check.
Posted by Stan on August 15, 2003 8:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
August 8, 2003
Friday Five (15)
- What’s the last place you traveled to, outside your own home state/country?
I don’t know if this counts, but a few weeks ago, I went to Kenosha. Whoo. It’s out of state, right? - What’s the most bizarre/unusual thing that’s ever happened to you while traveling?
We had a family funeral in Arizona a couple of years ago, very shortly after September 11th, when everybody was really edgy on airlines. One of the drunks in my family decided it would be in his best interest to arrive at the airport drunk and continue drinking while we waited for the plane and during the flight. At one point, he started making disturbing, gutteral noises and barking like a dog. The flight attendants threatened to have the pilot land the plane if he didn’t stop. - If you could take off to anywhere, money and time being no object, where would you go?
Ireland. - Do you prefer traveling by plane, train or car?
Train. - What’s the next place on your list to visit?
I don’t have a list of places to visit. I like it where I am. I don’t really think about traveling ever.
Posted by Stan on August 8, 2003 7:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
August 1, 2003
Friday Five (14)
- What time do you wake up on weekday mornings?
Seven a.m. - Do you sleep in on the weekends? How late?
Sometimes. Ten a.m. - Aside from waking up, what is the first thing you do in the morning?
Shower. - How long does it take to get ready for your day?
Twenty minutes. - When possible, what is your favorite place to go for breakfast?
I’ve always enjoyed a good, old-fashioned, disgusting, greasy Sausage McMuffin & hash browns combo from McDonalds. I was actually thinking about going and get one this morning, since I haven’t had one in a long time, but I am pretty ridiculously lazy.
Posted by Stan on August 1, 2003 7:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
July 25, 2003
Friday Five (13)
I’m not doing the Friday Five this week. The questions are terrible.
Posted by Stan on July 25, 2003 11:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
July 18, 2003
Friday Five (12)
Watch out, kids. This week’s is a downer.
- When was the last time you cheated?
“Cheated” is such a loose term, but since this seems like it’s geared toward high school- and college-age losers, I’ll leap to the conclusion that they’re referring to, say, test-cheating. And I’m almost disappointed to say that I cheated on an editing quiz as recently as yesterday. But, come on, she left the room, we had the computers in front of us, and at least half a dozen questions referred to stuff we never went over — we were all cheating, which clearly makes it right. - When was the last time you stole?
A few months ago, I went to the Dunkin’ Donuts on Jackson, near Franklin Street, and ordered a medium coffee and two glazed donuts. I reached into my pocket to pull the money out, and it was at that point that I realized I left my wallet at home. They told me I could just pay them tomorrow, because I guess they were under the impression that I’m a regular customer, even though that was maybe the second time in my life that I had gone into that particular Dunkin’ Donuts.Long story longer, I still owe them $2.40, and I plan to avoid that particular Dunkin’ Donuts until a reasonable time has elapsed.
- When was the last time you lied?
You know, years upon years of living with my parents has beaten all the lies out of me. Okay, occasionally I dab a little white lie onto things for the sugary effect of not having people in a rage at me all the time, but it’s so infrequent that I don’t remember any specific incidents.However, one could argue that I lie by omission constantly, since I rarely tell anybody anything unless I think they really deserve to know it, or unless I just want to vent about something or someone that has pissed me off.
- When was the last time you broke or vandalized another’s property?
I used to do a lot of stupid shit, but again, it’s been so long, I really don’t remember offhand. Then again, I did somehow manage to break a vending machine a few days ago, but that was accidental. Of course, my subsequent, enraged kicking of said vending machine could be considered vandalism. But, come on, it’s not like I dented it or anything. - When was the last time you hurt a loved one?
It’s been several months.
Posted by Stan on July 18, 2003 12:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
July 11, 2003
Friday Five (11)
- Do you remember your first best friend? Who was it?
Yes. I really don’t feel that posting his name is necessary, especially since nobody who reads this would know him anyway. - Are you still in touch with this person?
No. - Do you have a current close friend?
Yes. - How did you become friends with this person?
As is the Wiccan way, we exchanged vials filled with our bodily fluids. This means we’ll be friends forever. It’s like the “blood brothers” thing, except more disgusting and for some reason involving eye of newt. - Is there a friend from your past that you wish you were still in contact with? Why?
Yes.
Posted by Stan on July 11, 2003 9:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
July 4, 2003
Friday Five (10)
- What were your favorite childhood stories?
I assume we’re talking young, like pre-reading or just-starting-to-read level. In that case, Green Eggs and Ham and Scuffy the Tugboat. - What books from your childhood would you like to share with [your] children?
Probably just those two. - Have you reread any of those childhood stories and been surprised by anything?
Surprised by the fact that I still like them. - How old were you when you first learned to read?
Five. Back in the olden days, when I was in kindergarten, they used to pull me, as well as a few other students, out of class for a few hours each day to learn basic prepositions and nouns and shit like that.I assumed that either we were so smart, they were teaching us to read early, or we were so fucking stupid, they had to teach us to read so we could catch up with the other students. I never really figured out which.
- Do you remember the first ‘grown-up’ book you read? How old were you?
Stephen King’s It, which I read either toward the end of fifth grade or the beginning of sixth. I think it would have been funnier if I said the first “grown-up” book I read was War and Peace, and I’m almost done with it. Zing!
Posted by Stan on July 4, 2003 7:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
June 27, 2003
Friday Five (9)
- How are you planning to spend the summer [winter]?
In school. Enjoying myself. - What was your first summer job?
Making $5/hour (yes, it was even below minimum wage then) sweeping floors, stocking, and pulling inventory at my dad’s warehouse. - If you could go anywhere this summer [winter], where would you go?
I’d like to trace my ancestry back to Sicily, where I would meet and fall in love with a beautiful native who dies in a freak car-bombing. Then I’d come back home to New York and marry second-choice Diane Keaton. - What was your worst vacation ever?
I’d have to go with the Thanksgiving trip to visit my aunt in which I (1) broke my arm, (2) got lost in the woods, and (3) ate dry, horrible turkey that eventually caused some sort of brown-gray liquid to seep from various bodily orifices. Okay, that last part wasn’t true. The turkey wasn’t dry. - What was your best vacation ever?
I think “least worst vacation” is more appropriate. I’d vote for any vacation where I got to stay home and sit on my ass. I actually think any vacation shorter than a month that involves actually leaving town is more trouble than it’s worth. Plus, being spared decades of driving with the whole family harmonizing off-key to the cast recording of Les Misérables is a definite plus.
Posted by Stan on June 27, 2003 12:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
June 20, 2003
Friday Five (8)
- Is your hair naturally curly, wavy, or straight? Long or short?
Straight. Short. - How has your hair changed over your lifetime?
When I was in elementary school, I used to shave it all off, except the back, which had a tail. If you can possibly believe it, that was a somewhat popular style back then. The longer the tail, the cooler you were, man.Then, when I was in junior high and started getting into really terrible heavy-metal bands, I grew my hair out really long and I looked more retarded than I normally do.
Since then, I’ve had pretty much the same hairstyle.
- How do your normally wear your hair?
Parted on the left. - If you could change your hair this minute, what would it look like?
I’d grow it out really long and get a Peter Frampton perm. - Ever had a hair disaster? What happened?
I, specifically, haven’t, probably because I don’t do much experimentation. My sister has had a lot of problems, though. She used to dye her hair all the time, and she did it a little too often, so one time her hair came out gray. Then, another time, she got her hair cut really short and styled really stupidly, and it looked so bad she refused to go to school for three days until she could comb out the style.
Posted by Stan on June 20, 2003 10:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
June 13, 2003
Friday Five (7)
- What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do, but never have?
I’ve always wanted to keep an aluminum baseball bat in my car, so when some fucking cocksucker does something really inappropriate like drive 10 under or cut me off (or cut me off and then go 10 under), I can follow them, and then at the next light, bash all his or her fucking windows in.That’ll learn ‘em!
- When someone asks your opinion about a new haircut/outfit/etc, are you always honest?
I am generally honest. Brutally honest. Unnecessarily honest. I am a horrible monster. - Have you ever found out something about a friend and then wished you hadn’t? What happened?
Yes. It seems like every few months, people start confiding horrible secrets that they haven’t told anyone else. I guess I’m trustworthy like that. But then, it’s like I become a partner in crime because I’m the only one who knows, so I’m always getting this extra secret information that I don’t want to know. - If you could live in any fictional world (from a book/movie/game/etc.) which would it be and why?
It’s weird, because the only stuff I watch/read/play that isn’t directly set in what is supposed to be the real world, it always creates a fictional universe that is a horrible, horrible place to live. So I wouldn’t really want to live in any place, except maybe the magical Mushroom Kingdom with Mario and Yoshi.Or possibly Vice City, just for the fun of it.
- What’s one talent/skill you don’t have but always wanted?
That magical and elusive coordination between hand and eye that one needs in order to actually hit a baseball with a bat. I don’t think I’ve ever hit a baseball since I played T-ball in preschool. And even then, it was a challenge.
Most recently, that all happened with The Cheat, which is weird because I barely even knew him.
Posted by Stan on June 13, 2003 11:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
May 30, 2003
Friday Five (6)
- What do you most want to be remembered for?
My writing, assuming anybody will ever read it. Or possibly my uncanny ability to alienate everyone I don’t dislike. - What quotation best fits your outlook on life?
“Between the Pope and air conditioning, I choose air conditioning.” — Woody Allen - What single achievement are you most proud of in the past year?
I think the most significant achievement is not failing African History last semester, but it wasn’t really my achievement; more accurately, it an act of benevolence by a professor who — rightfully, I might add — thought I was pathetic and that failing a class might drive me to suicide.So I guess I’m gonna have to go with the whole not being brutally murdered by the many people — but by one special lady in particular — who want my blood for one reason or another.
- What about the past ten years?
Well, I could go for the easy one and say “graduating high school,” but that doesn’t really seem like a big deal to me, since it seems to be the popular thing to do these days. Unless you’re FUCT, who seems pretty proud of his lack of diploma/GED.I guess, if we’re going on the basis of how proud I was at the moment of high achievement, the biggest deal would be the first time I actually finished an entire, feature-length, genu-wine screenplay. Looking back on it, it wasn’t even remotely good, but at the time, I was incredibly pleased with myself and my work.
- If you were asked to give a child a single piece of advice to guide them through life, what would you say?
“Look at everything I have ever done and will do, and do the exact opposite. Trust me, you’ll be a lot better off.”
Posted by Stan on May 30, 2003 11:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
May 23, 2003
Friday Five (5)
- What brand of toothpaste do you use?
Colgate Wintergreen. - What brand of toilet paper do you prefer?
I tend to eat out a lot, and because I’m fat and eat out a lot, my metabolism doesn’t work nearly as well as it probably should. Needless to say, because of the rough and terrifying nature of my bowel movements, I prefer soft, 2-ply toilet paper. The brand itself doesn’t matter. Now you are an official member of the “Holy shit I did not need to know any of that, you die now” club. - What brand(s) of shoes do you wear?
I wore Converse All-Stars in various colors, literally from fifth grade until my senior year of high school. At that point, I started getting sick of them because while they may look cool (and they made me seem unique, since for awhile I was the only person in town dumb enough to buy/wear them), they don’t hold up at all. Somebody recommended Vans to me, so I bought a pair towards the end of my senior year, and I didn’t need to buy a new pair until about a month ago (for the record, that’s about three years). And even then, I didn’t really need to buy a new pair so much as I was sick of looking at the old ones. - What brand of soda do you drink?
Coca-Cola or 7-Up. - What brand of gum do you chew?
I don’t chew gum. I am an Altoid man. I don’t want Fop, goddammit.
Posted by Stan on May 23, 2003 11:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
May 16, 2003
Friday Five (4)
- What drinking water do you prefer — tap, bottle, purifier, etc.?
Whatever is available. The only thing I don’t like is Evian, which tastes oily to me. - What are your favorite flavor of chips?
Sour cream ‘n’ onion Pringles. - Of all the things you can cook, what dish do you like the most?
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (I cannot cook many things). - How do you have your eggs?
Scrambled. - Who was the last person who cooked you a meal? How did it turn out?
I will not refer to her by name, but many of my avid fans know her as The Ex [insert ominous musical sting]. It turned out well. The meal, that is.
Posted by Stan on May 16, 2003 6:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
May 9, 2003
Friday Five (3)
- Would you consider yourself an organized person? Why or why not?
It depends. I can be organized, if I want or need to be, but I’m generally not. Although I do like to consider my disorganization “chaotic order,” because even though I have shit scattered all over the place all the time, I know exactly where everything is, how it got there, and why it shouldn’t be shoved into a file folder or onto a shelf. But, really, “chaotic order” is just an excuse for me to not clean. - Do you keep some type of planner, organizer, calendar, etc. with you, and do you use it regularly?
Sometimes I buy a day planner, thinking to myself, “Gosh, I really need to get organized. I need to write down all of my assignments, my class schedules, and important events in my life. A day planner would definitely help me in such an endeavor.” But since it’s kind of hard to forget my class schedule, most assignments are printed in syllabi, and there are no important events in my life, it usually ends up a waste of money. I don’t think I’ve ever written a thing in any of the day planners I’ve bought. - Would you say that your desk is organized right now?
Ha! - Do you alphabetize CDs, books, and DVDs, or does it not matter?
Yes, I do. - What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to organize?
Um…well, my mind doesn’t really work in a linear, logical, or organized manner, so doing research is really, really difficult for me. And the stuff I’m researching for my novel currently is kind of complicated and time-consuming, so creating organized notes that I’ll be able to go back to when I need to will not be easy. That’s why I’ve kind of stopped and decided to work on my sci-fi script, where I can pretty much make everything up without worrying much about research.
Posted by Stan on May 9, 2003 11:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
May 2, 2003
Friday Five (2)
- Name one song you hate to admit you like.
Every single song Michelle Branch has ever recorded. What the hell is wrong with me? - Name two songs that always make you cry.
Now, is that cry with sadness, cry with joy, or cry with ear-bleeding pain? I’ll assume “sadness,” and say that I really don’t have a “song” that always makes me cry. However, I have never not cried at the end of La Bohème. And also, the Tara theme from Gone with the Wind. - Name three songs that turn you on.
Every single song Michelle Branch has ever recorded. What the hell is wrong with me? - Name four songs that always make you feel good.
“Pick Up the Pieces” by Average White Band
“Table For One” by Juliana Hatfield
“Soma” by Smashing Pumpkins
“Smog Moon” by Matthew Sweet - Name five songs you couldn’t ever do without.
“Get Myself Arrested” by Gomez
“Everything I Want to Be” by Save Ferris
“President Garfield” by Juliana Hatfield
“Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town” by Pearl Jam
The Lacrymosa from Mozart’s Requiem (does that count?)
Posted by Stan on May 2, 2003 4:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
April 26, 2003
Friday Five (1)
Yay, another Friday Five!
- What was the last TV show you watched?
I just watched last Wednesday’s West Wing about two hours ago. - What was the last thing you complained about?
I think it’d be easier to gauge the last thing I didn’t complain about. I guess the last thing I really ripped into somebody about was this group project for humanities. It’s turning into a complex debacle. It frustrates me to spend so much time and effort on something that’s desinted to be pitiful. - Who was the last person you complimented and what did you say?
Last night, I complimented the only responsible person in my humanities group (I can’t even consider myself a responsible member of the group) on his editing skills. He showed me some shit he’s done that really impressed me. - What was the last thing you threw away?
A sheet of paper I printed something on. I didn’t need it anymore. - What was the last website (besides this one) that you visited?
TV Shows on DVD. Apparently NewsRadio the greatest sitcom in the history of the universe, was one of the winners of Columbia’s “Golly, which TV show should we put on DVD?” contest. I can’t fucking wait for those DVD sets.
Well, that about wraps it up. This was slightly less painful than last week’s.
Posted by Stan on April 26, 2003 2:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
April 19, 2003
Friday Five…on Saturday (1)
So I saw Remy do this on his blog, so I stole it. What’s the harm, seeing as Remy himself stole it from some other guy I don’t know, who probably stole it from yet another person. This is why “All your base are belong to us” got so popular: everybody on the Internet steals from everybody else, hoping to be original. So, without further ado, here it is:
- Who is your favorite celebrity?
Unfortunately, I know very few personally. I’m not really sure what defines “favorite.” Is it the celebrity I respect the most? If so, that’d be tough, because I can’t really think of any celebrities I actually respect. Is it the celebrity who does the work I identify with the most? If so, it’d be a grudge-match between Woody Allen and Joss Whedon — last man standing becomes my favorite. Or is it just some famous guy who I think would be fun to hang out with? If so, that’d probably be Jon Stewart or David Boreanaz. But fuck it — my overall favorite is Paige Davis, I won’t deny it. - Who is your least favorite?
The President of the United States, George W. Bush. - Have you ever met or seen any celebrities in real life?
Let’s see…I met Harold Ramis once. I know a few writers, who aren’t really celebrities because nobody knows who the fuck writers are except other writers. I met Juliana Hatfield, but I don’t even think she qualifies anymore, which is tragic. - Would you want to be famous? Why or why not?
No. I fucking hate people, and all famous people do is get bombarded with fans and shit. I’d never want to reach that level of fame. - If you had to trade places with a celebrity for a day, who would you choose and why?
J.D. Salinger. See my answer to #4.
Now that I’ve done this, I think it’s pretty stupid, and I will probably stop doing it. But, hey, it was worth a try.
Posted by Stan on April 19, 2003 1:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
