Podcast: Worst Moviegoing Experiences
Today’s podcast is brought to you by this article. As usual, excuse the choppy editing. The unedited cut ran over 50 minutes, and let’s break it down: if you listen to this version and think, “It’s kinda boring,” imagine how it would sound if it were nearly twice as long.
In case you decide to skip around or break it up, here’s the “table of contents”:
1:16 – Paulie
9:19 – Apocalypse Now Redux
16:24 – Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
25:07 – Death to Smoochy
Be warned that this podcast contains a rainbow of obscenities, so consider this not safe for work.
Click the Play button to listen to Podcast #6: “Worst Moviegoing Experiences” (64kbps MP3, 28:42, 13.1MB)
Posted by Stan on March 6, 2009 5:12 PM | Permalink | Print-Friendly | Friends: Can’t Live with ‘Em, Podcast, Stories of Hilarity and Humiliation, Stories of Pain and Humiliation | Digg It
yeah i hate those people. The worst country in the world for that is the United Arab Emiraes. I have never once gone into a movie there and not had multiple people answer their cell phones. Some of them actually have phone conversation in the cinema!
BTW stan, have you read the script going around called Prisoners by Aaron Guzikowski? I think it’s great but I’d be curious to hear your professional opinion.
SAM
Posted by SAM | March 11, 2009 12:48 PM | Reply
I often extol the virtues of reading the spec “selling” drafts of scripts instead of later drafts, but I don’t really practice what I preach. In most cases, my job delivers scripts to me only after they’ve been produced, and I don’t often seek out scripts unless I’m being paid to read them, or unless I have a vendetta against shitty writing.
(I know this sounds contradictory after my Black List reviews, but I had three major reasons for looking at those scripts: first, I had the time; second, I was in the middle of a lull and wanted to keep my “coverage” skills sharp; and third, I thought it might be a good way to lure new readers to the site, since the screenwriting fringes of the blogosphere light up like a Christmas tree when the Black List comes out. Also, a fourth reason: I started reading The Beaver and was shocked by its badness, and I felt the need to share my frustration and disappointment with the world. If the scripts had been better, I probably wouldn’t have taken the time to post reviews.)
So no, I haven’t read Prisoners. I might take a look at it if I get the time, but no guarantees.
Posted by Stan 
| March 15, 2009 11:57 AM | Reply
Do people in Indiana just have better manners than you find elsewhere? I’ve never had a problem with annoying audiences at the movies.
My one really bad experience was a bomb threat forcing an evacuation less than ten minutes into the midnight opening of The Dark Knight. I was leaving for vacation the next day, too, so I didn’t end up seeing it for almost a week.
Posted by Sinnycal | March 15, 2009 11:52 PM | Reply
After ranting about bad experiences at the movies on other occasions, I have had people in other parts of the country — and the world — describe my experiences as unique, yet everyone in the Chicago area has similar complaints. Based on my own experiences at the movies abroad (in places like Los Angeles, Toronto, Seattle, Phoenix, and Cedar Rapids), I’m willing to admit that this might be a problem isolated to Chicago.
Bottom line: everyone on the planet has better manners than Chicagoans… But I’d still bet people from Indiana have better manners than most other places. That’s based purely on the many friendly firework outlets along the IL-IN border.
Posted by Stan | March 20, 2009 4:33 PM | Reply
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Where I live I’ve stopped going to the cinema. The good experience is actually the exception.
Kids starting claps, cheering, laughing, talking on phones, using lasers.
The last time, after two hours of these two stupid girls behind me laughing and clapping and talking on the phone, I turned around and yelled:
Will you two fucking kids shut the fuck up.
You may say I was picking on girls, but the truth is I was furious that it wasn’t guys. At least with guys I could have beat the shit out of them.
I’m not an angry guy but that stuff drives me crazy.
Luckily the movie was the Day the Earth Stood Still, the golden turd of a long line of shitty movies Keanu Reeves has single handedly destroyed.
What I hate most about Keanu is that they keep sticking him in my movies I love. Point Break. The first matrix movie.
Posted by SAM | March 9, 2009 1:21 AM | Reply
Oh man, don’t get me started on those types of experiences. I have thousands, but probably the most offensive happened to a friend of mine. He went to see a movie with his wife, various audience members talked all the way through it… Back in the olden days, they used to have flashlight-toting ushers keeping sentry in the theatre, and they’d yell at and/or throw out obnoxious moviegoers. Now they just hand out candy at the end. Anyway, he was pissed because so many people were talking, he and his wife couldn’t even figure out who to yell at. After the movie, they sought out the manager to complain and get a refund, and the manager said, “I’m sorry, sir. That’s just part of the moviegoing experience.”
First of all: who pays $12 to sit and talk in a dark room? Secondly: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! THAT’S “THE MOVIEGOING EXPERIENCE”?! No wonder everyone’s opted for “home theatres” and theatre chains are tanking. Fuck ‘em.
Anyway, I know how you feel. People who have no concept of other humans drive me nuts (see also: angry grocery shopping rant).
I also know how you feel about Keanu Reeves… I’m a huge Point Break/original Matrix fan (not to mention the Bill & Ted movies and Parenthood>), but fortunately the movies are so good, he doesn’t drag them down.
Posted by Stan
| March 9, 2009 5:03 PM | Reply