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Gay Wedding

I had this whole big post planned about the cultural weirdness of my cousin’s gay marriage. I had been under the assumption that it’d be not only a flamboyant, bizarre event that would involve Elton John in some way, but that the disapproving, highly Catholic portion of my family would show up to throw stones and hurl obscenities.

But it turned out like every other wedding I’ve ever been to: boring as shit and endless. You non-Catholics may not understand the extent of trauma involved in attending a full-on Catholic wedding. Despite the papal stance on the subject, this was a Catholic ceremony, although an abbreviated one. But still fucking endless, dammit! Probably the only entertaining part was the confused non-priest pastor attempting to both fumble his way through the Catholic portions of the ceremony, then attempting to bridge Catholic ideals with a gay marriage.

Meanwhile, none of the vehement religious people in our family showed up, so the biggest drama was when my uncle turned around for the retarded handshake of peace and came face to face with two gay dudes making out.* His face twisted in horror, then he turned back around. Not exactly epic.

*And, seriously, I’d say the same of any straight couple: you don’t make out in church. Even I have enough respect to not do that.

Posted by Stan on May 25, 2008 10:52 PM  | Permalink | Family: The Horror… | Digg It