Employment Horrors
Earlier this week, I had a phone interview with a woman at a classy downtown law firm where a friend of mine works. It went pretty well, as it is one of the rare job interviews where I’m not at least partially bullshitting my experience level, and even better: it’s full time, pays really well, good benefits, all that jazz. The only real problem, aside from the fact that I don’t actually have the job yet, is that it’s on the 66th floor of the Sears Tower. The combination of my comical fear of heights and propensity toward seasickness* might be a mitigating factor; I just hope 95% of the job involves being seated in a cubicle with no windows in my sightline. But we’ll see how it goes. I have an in-person interview with HR on Friday, followed by an interview with the department manager at a later date (it’ll be pretty obvious if the second interview is not scheduled that I didn’t get the job).
Lately, I’ve tended to not tell my dad about these jobs. He has a tendency to stress me out more than I already am, acting like the fate of the world is riding on me getting a job as soon as possible (and to him, it probably is — he’s been wanting me out of the house pretty much since I came back). He also takes it way too hard when I don’t get the job (a part of the whole “fate of the world” mentality, I guess), so I usually just tell him after the fact on the day of the interview, or after I’ve confirmed whether or not I have the job.
This law firm interview is no different; it’s a better lead than I’ve had in awhile, what with the whole “I actually have experience” thing, and it’s coming at the recommendation of a friend who is (apparently) well regarded at the firm, but like any job it’s not a sure thing. I planned to just not say anything until after the second interview, or after the first if I don’t get a second and therefore know I didn’t get the job…
…and then I got an e-mail from my dad. A position where he works — a definite sure thing — has come up again. I stupidly turned it down last summer because I had this misguided belief that a café job, while paying less, wouldn’t be as stressful. Because my life would be nothing without constant irony, turning down the first job led me to the most stressful café job I’ve ever worked. I ended up semi-quitting when I took a quick trip to Los Angeles for a job interview. Technically I was fired for not showing up to work, but I made the decision knowing what the consequence would be; I could have begged for the job back, but shit was it miserable. This led me to the total opposite of my “cafés pay less but are less stressful” theory: if I have to deal with the same bullshit, I might as well get paid for it.
In yet another ironic twist, the guy my dad’s buddy hired in my stead was fired for not showing up to work. He decided to restrategize, training somebody he’s already got to do the job part-time (and do his normal job the rest of the time), then hiring another part-time person. That way, if the part-timer is unreliable, disappears off the face of the Earth or quits with no notice, he has a backup. But if the part-timer is reliable, he can be bumped up to full-time eventually.
So here we have it: a part-time (for now) sure thing where they know me and would be okay if I ditched out with no notice to pursue something better, or a gamble on a much better job. My dad’s buddy wants to train both a new part-timer (i.e., me) and the guy he already has simultaneously, starting next week. I had to spill it about the job interview, which has managed to fuck everything up. My dad, who hasn’t tried to find a job in 20 years, seems to be under the delusion that the typical interview process goes like this: you go in for an interview and are hired the same day, starting the following day. I’ve only had this experience twice in my life: one was a shitty retail job (where I think that type of hiring process is more common, since it’s monkey work), and one was an office job.
I’ve been on a lot of job interviews, and all but two have been a long and irritating multi-tiered process. When I told my dad about the other interview, he said, “Okay, call him on Friday after the interview and tell him whether or not you’re interested. He wants to start training you guys on Monday.”
I told him I might know if I don’t have the job, but I definitely won’t know if I do have it. I offered to train for the job with my dad’s buddy, since he has a hard-on to do it ASAP, and then if I get the other one I’d be out the door. I sorta think that’s a waste of my time, but I should probably keep my bases covered. I’m just not sure why it can’t wait another week…
*The Sears Tower one of the many modern skyscrapers designed to sway with the wind, and the higher you get, the more you feel it.
Posted by Stan on May 16, 2007 10:19 AM | Permalink | Job Shit | Digg It
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