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Krispy Kreme Mocha

When the Krispy Kreme opened a few years ago, it was like an unhealthy man’s heaven. The first — and for awhile, only — in Illinois, and for some reason half a mile away from my house, I used to go there constantly and gorge myself on those hot, greasy, glazed confections. I had so many, and for such a long period of time, that it finally reached a point where they disgusted me. The lack of variety — sure, Krispy Kreme has donuts other than the original glazed, but they’re all terrible — and just the overkill of my excess made me never, ever want to touch a Krispy Kreme donut again.

So far, I’ve stuck with that, but I’m also extremely lazy. The Krispy Kreme is between my bank and my house; however, the nearest Dunkin’ Donuts — vastly superior in every conceivable way — is ten minutes down the road. Ordinarily, Dunkin’ Donuts is worth the extra drive, but as I said, I’m extremely lazy.

So yesterday, after depositing my last paycheck, I stopped at Krispy Kreme and ordered a mocha. Because I love the caffeine, and she loves me, and there was a time not long ago when I squinted into her eyes and muttered through a mouth full of chaw, “I wish I could quit you,” but she knew I didn’t mean it, and I knew I didn’t mean it, so the trial separation ended and we got back together. Now, we’re unstoppable…

…except when she hurts me by forcing me to stop at Krispy Kreme for a mocha. Now, their mochas are pretty good. Not as good as Tully’s, but much better than the rancid ichor those Starbucks assholes call chocolate. But I don’t mind stopping for one if I’m too lazy to go down to Dunkin’ Donuts for a slug of sweet ambrosia.

One thing is unsettling, though. Whenever I get a mocha from Krispy Kreme, I…smell the glaze. I almost taste it in the mocha, which shouldn’t have any actual glaze in it. But maybe it does, who knows? But I smell it all over my fingertips after handling the cup, and it takes days for it to go away, even if I wish my hands every hour. And because of that sense memory of gorging myself to the point of hating that original glaze, every time I, say, scratch my cheek or nose or chin…I feel a little bit nauseous.

So do particles of glaze odor get all over the cup and/or its contents — because the whole thing does stink a little of glaze in its own right — because of the powerful odor in the kitchen? I mean, it really is powerful shit. I used to take walks up a residential street that runs parallel to the street the Krispy Kreme is on, about a quarter-mile north of it, and I can smell the glaze. It’s…disturbing. But I suppose it stands to reason that such a powerful odor would cling to anything and everything it can. I think I read somewhere that milk is an odor absorber, so that could explain the whole thing.

Still…it’s unsettling.

Posted by Stan on March 5, 2006 10:38 AM  | Permalink | Random Musings | Digg It