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Evaluation

I was sort of bummed Thursday because I got a fairly mediocre performance review from Jenna, who stopped in briefly and gave it to me. Like most evaluations on the planet, it had an assload of categories with a “rate 1 to 5” deal. I got straight 3’s, except for 4’s (above average!) “interpersonal relationships” and “punctuality.” I guess it shouldn’t bug me, even though it means I’m mediocre, because the sheet says “satisfactory,” which means that, even though I ain’t “outstanding,” I don’t “need improvement.”

I guess, overall, that’s not even what bugs me. The specific comments really frustrate me. Under “areas in need of improvement” (which, incidentally, contradicts her marking me satisfactory in the multiple-choice section), Jenna wrote, “needs to work on obtaining a better understanding of the job requirements and attendance.” Yowza, that smarts.

It’s fair, I suppose. I really don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, and I do it all pretty half-assed, but I don’t really see it as my fault. I never know what the fuck is going on, because nobody ever tells me anything. I suppose I could take initiative and ask about things, but how do I know what to ask about? The only time I ever know things that need asking about is when somebody comes in and asks me a question I can’t answer. But when I ask Jenna, she sort of groans like I’m completely retarded, even though she never tells me anything so how the fuck am I supposed to know?

It’s sort of circular. Hey, maybe she tells everybody else on the days I’m not there, and that’s where the “attendance” thing comes from. It’s possible, and I do plan to not miss as much work next semester, what with me needing money and all, but the general thought I had (and still have) is that school outranks the job. I generally get my schoolwork done at my job, which is nice, but if I feel myself getting sick, I’ll call in from work and rest. I have that option, but I don’t have it with classes.

Maybe I’m just too sensitive. I don’t think Jenna thinks my mediocrity is really awful. I also don’t think she believes I need a lot of improvement; they are problem areas, and they do need work, but it’s not like I don’t get the job done. Okay, sometimes I don’t, like that time I kept hanging up on some guy because I didn’t know the department he wanted and didn’t feel like helping him.

Still, it makes me weep like a woman. I called Lucy and whined about it, and she made me feel better. “Fuck her!” she shouted. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about!” It made me feel better, but I didn’t have the heart to tell Lucy that Jenna is mostly right.

Tags: attendance, comments, evaluation, Fall 2003 semester, Jenna, job, mediocre, sensitive, understanding, uninformed, veteran, work-study

Posted by Stan on January 10, 2004 2:50 PM  | Permalink | “I’m a Living Joke!” - Horror Stories from the Workplace | Digg It